Not having the time is the number one excuse we all use when we aren’t getting the results we want. I won’t argue with the fact that our lives are jammed packed with activity. For many of my clients it’s work, kids, house chores, and the ones who don’t is time management. You can’t delete your job or kids nor can you dissolve your pain immediately, but you can manage your life differently.
I have hated systems and it felt too rigid to me to try to fit my life into such a regimented mold.
Next month marks two years since I left my safe, secure, and motivated, which made it all the more difficult because I had nowhere to place the motivation. Leaving me feeling stuck externally, but with the internal adrenaline to push forward like a horse out of the gate.
I think that internal drive is what separated me from my co-workers. I always remained highly professional and put me on the path to my next step.
I realize now the problem I was experiencing in the first several years of my career was my focus was seriously misplaced. I spent a lot [...]
The concept of going to extreme measures to find yourself has always been a mystery to me. I am always curious about why people think they have to sit in hot tents after fasting (James Arthur Ray style) or walk over hot coals to be enlightened. The most adventurous go on a long journey throughout the desert with no water. They all do it to prove that they can overcome their fears and the anxiety created by situations that most people would never attempt.
There’s a reason why most of us wouldn’t do it: it hurts!
As a recovering perfectionist, I felt very tickled when I heard this line from the movie Letters from Juliet: “Saying I’m a perfectionist, is just another way of saying: I’m too chicken to do it”. I can laugh at this now, because I see it’s the truth. And that’s not say that I never fall back into my perfectionist a.k.a. chicken ways, it just means I become aware of it when it happens.
If you’re right smack dab in the middle of perfectionism’s sticky web, it may take some time to pry its tangled web from you.
Perfectionism sucks you dry, plain and simple. I’ve been reading Apolo Anton Ohno’s book Zero Regrets: Be Greater Than Yesterday. I wasn’t surprised to learn that perfectionism is something that he struggled with in his sports career. To be successful you have to have the desire to work to your greatest ability, the problem lies in pushing yourself so far beyond your limits, that being perfect becomes a impediment to achieving what you want.
In Apolo’s words: “My personal best is good enough, as long as I’ve given it everything I’ve got. It’s too intense and appreciate all the stairs [...]
I used to be an all or nothing person and it became clear to me that there had to be another way.
I see this “all or nothing” syndrome all the time in my clients. It usually comes in two forms. The first are my clients who know exactly what they want and exhausted. They have no time or energy for what they really want. “All or nothing” is a good dream squelcher.
The good news is that there is a remedy. First and giving up too soon means we are stopping circumstances from working in our favor. This part takes [...]
If you’re like many of my clients you’ve probably found yourself in career situations where you are trying to control things that are entirely out of your control. You find yourself trying to do things in just the right way and are overly concerned with how your work compares with others. At times, you perceive a feeling of impending doom if just the slightest thing goes wrong with a project. Talk about pressure! It is in that moment that you have reached a level of control that is actually sabotaging [...]
Is your perfectionism stand full of great ideas, but they falter when making steps towards turning their ideas into actions or even sharing their ideas at the workplace. Their biggest fears lie in making mistakes that they believe will lead to criticism. A mistake, whether big or small, equals failure in their mind. Their perfectionism is literally holding them back.
Is holding a high standard for achievement,” he notes. “Maladaptive perfectionism is an external concern – wondering what other people are going to think. It’s kind of a thinking habit: ‘I made a mistake there.’ ‘Someone will notice I didn’t do [...]
Laura is a warm, intelligent, and I’m betting you will too.
Martha Beck, PhDAuthor of Finding Your Own North Star, The Joy Diet, and O! Magazine Monthly Columnist
Amazing what coaching can actually do to the mind. I described the invigorating feeling to my husband takes away the pressure of instant gratification.
Laura is a naturally insightful and supportive space for exploring the most sensitive issues. I highly recommend her to anyone who is serious about creating a happier life. She is a fabulous coach!
I admit that I was apprehensive to work with a coach at first, but once we got started that apprehension went right away. I am reminded with every session as to how intuitive, genuine, and is like a l…
Melisa SharpeLos Angeles
Laura’s approach to identifying and enjoy my current life.
You held a safe place and helped me feel more comfortable in my body.
Gail KennyTrinidad, CA
Laura was a gift from my daughter, literally. She thought the session would help me get through the barrage of interviews I had recently been on, but not getting the job. After years of therapy, books…