Not having the time is the number one excuse we all use when we aren’t getting the results we want. I won’t argue with the fact that our lives are jammed packed with activity. For many of my clients it’s work, kids, house chores, and bed. If you are suffering from physical pain or IBS, that adds a whole new level of stress into your daily routine. Regardless of what you may be dealing with in your life, the difference between my clients who get what they want and the ones who don’t is time management. You can’t delete [...]
Next month marks two years since I left my safe, secure, and tenured job. I had spent 11 long years in a job that drained me mentally and physically. To say it was not the best use of my talents is an understatement. I always knew I wanted to do something else, but I had a hard time figuring out exactly what the “else” was. I was very driven and motivated, which made it all the more difficult because I had nowhere to place the motivation. Leaving me feeling stuck externally, but with the internal adrenaline to push forward [...]
The concept of going to extreme measures to find yourself has always been a mystery to me. I am always curious about why people think they have to sit in hot tents after fasting (James Arthur Ray style) or walk over hot coals to be enlightened. The most adventurous go on a long journey throughout the desert with no water. They all do it to prove that they can overcome their fears and withstand the anxiety created by situations that most people would never attempt.
There’s a reason why most of us wouldn’t do it: it hurts!
I’ve never done those [...]
As a recovering perfectionist, I felt very tickled when I heard this line from the movie Letters from Juliet: “Saying I’m a perfectionist, is just another way of saying: I’m too chicken to do it”. I can laugh at this now, because I see it’s the truth. And that’s not say that I never fall back into my perfectionist a.k.a. chicken ways, it just means I become aware of it when it happens.
If you’re right smack dab in the middle of perfectionism’s sticky web, it may take some time to pry its tangled web from you.
My suggestion is simple: [...]
Perfectionism sucks you dry, plain and simple. I’ve been reading Apolo Anton Ohno’s book Zero Regrets: Be Greater Than Yesterday. I wasn’t surprised to learn that perfectionism is something that he struggled with in his sports career. To be successful you have to have the desire to work to your greatest ability, the problem lies in pushing yourself so far beyond your limits, that being perfect becomes a impediment to achieving what you want.
In Apolo’s words: “My personal best is good enough, as long as I’ve given it everything I’ve got. It’s too intense and too unforgiving a life [...]
I used to be an all or nothing person and I have to admit that it was pretty painful. All of that pressure, stress, and intense effort put into one thing is a great recipe for exhaustion and burnout. Only I didn’t know that, I just thought if you wanted something bad enough you just pushed yourself as hard as possible. After years of this, I realized that though I was getting things accomplished, I felt like crap. I was also measuring myself with a level of intense perfection. Not a pretty scene and it became clear to me [...]
If you’re like many of my clients you’ve probably found yourself in career situations where you are trying to control things that are entirely out of your control. You find yourself trying to do things in just the right way and are overly concerned with how your work compares with others. At times, you perceive a feeling of impending doom if just the slightest thing goes wrong with a project. Talk about pressure! It is in that moment that you have reached a level of control that is actually sabotaging [...]
Is your perfectionism standing in the way of your ideas? Where do you draw the line between a healthy sense of accomplishment and an unhealthy obsession with being perfect? Finally, a study has come out that can help those of us who fall along the perfectionist spectrum. Many of my clients are very competent, creative, and full of great ideas, but they falter when making steps towards turning their ideas into actions or even sharing their ideas at the workplace. Their biggest fears lie in making mistakes that they believe will lead to criticism. A mistake, whether big or small, [...]