Do you know that trying to manage other people’s emotions has a damaging effect on your body?
If you find yourself people pleasing and suffer from IBS, this is a great reminder of how to get back on track and stop allowing other peoples anger have an effect on you.
Your anger is not my problem.
For as long as I can remember I have had a highly attuned sense to people’s emotions. Between family and friends I have been around more than a fair share of angry people. What I didn’t realize is that I was part of the problem.
I wanted to share with you an email I received recently that made me cry…I received an email from a person who read one of my articles on a website I write for. In the e-mail she was asking for advice about a relationship that she was in. She was experiencing a lot of self sabotage and straight out drama.
When I got to the part where she described herself as a low value woman, it brought tears to my eyes. The biggest thing I know about women is that if they don’t have a high value for themselves, they [...]
Sometimes it takes the wrong thing to happen for you to understand what you need to do.
In the past my typical response to a glitch in the plan was to panic. I would worry about what I was going to do now and how I was going to do it. I would over think, over worry and over research my options. It was a time waster and energy killer. All it came down to was wanting to control situations and and holding on too close to certainty.
I made some big moves lately, the kind that are life-changing and nerve-racking at [...]
“I watch her with loving sadness as she dulls her shine to please others. Will this butterfly ever soar? Will she continue to pretend she can’t fly? Her greatest life awaits this decision.” – Steve Maraboli
This quote really got me thinking this week. SO many women I work with are caught up in the act of people pleasing. I used to do the same thing even though I would never have considered myself a people pleaser.
I’ve been having lots of chats with women lately and have some BIG changes I’m planning… so I want to keep this blog short [...]
Are you an emotional control freak? If you said yes, don’t worry you’re not alone.
Here are 8 ways you can tame your inner control freak so you can feel amazing, create a better relationship with yourself, and be attractive to others.
1. Stop being a people pleaser. People pleasing is a sneaky way to control your own emotions. You may be feeling angry at the expectations others are putting on you, but control your anger just by saying yes. When you say no, it may feel awkward at first, but it actually frees you from controlling your emotions and what [...]
It sounds funny to say but it’s true. It also feels a little scary to say, because by announcing it I am losing some of that control.
I have spent the majority of my life controlling my emotions and/or pretending they don’t even exist.
My preferred method of escape is just to avoid. I’ve had quite a number of traumatic things (as many of us have) happen to me throughout my life and when I recall them the thing that stands out the most is I just wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. I would pretend [...]
I had the pleasure of spending time with some good friends this weekend. They’re great people, generous and very happy for the most part. Except when it comes to pain. I’ve known for quite some time that my friend’s husband has back pain, really bad back pain. He’s been to some doctors and they prescribed the general things like physical therapy and medication. He’s tried acupuncture and chiropractor, but he still has no relief. He thinks he’s heard it all and tried it all and has given up. He spends his days in pain and popping ibuprofen.
At the start of the New Year, we often make goals about our career, health, or relationships. Unfortunately by the end of January, too many of us give up on those goals. Not because we’re lazy or we didn’t really want the things, it’s because we don’t believe we can actually have them.
We often blame it on not enough time or discipline, when in reality it’s neither of these things. The truth is we don’t actually believe we can create what we want.
It’s okay not to believe in yourself (at least some of the time).
Earlier this month I devoted an entire week to being especially kind to myself. I have to say it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It sounds like it would be easy to practice kindness toward yourself, but what I realized is that we spend most of our time being unkind to ourselves.
For me it looked like this: I want to relax. I shouldn’t relax I have stuff to do. I should relax because it’s what my body needs. But what if I relaxed too much and then I can’t sleep later on.
I spent a lot of time in the last two years wishing my life could go back to normal. Some days I longed for normal so badly that it made me cry. It wasn’t that I was just in pain from being injured in an accident; it was the frustration that I could no longer do some of the things that were normal to me.
In my career as a mind-body coach I watch people long for normal all the time. Many of my current clients suffer from IBS or digestive disorders. They talk often about wanting a normal life. [...]