I spent a lot of time in the last two years wishing my life could go back to normal. Some days I longed for normal so badly that it made me cry. It wasn’t that I was just in pain from being injured in an accident; it was the frustration that I could no longer do some of the things that were normal to me.
In my career as a mind-body coach I watch people long for normal all the time. Many of my current clients suffer from IBS or digestive disorders. They talk often about wanting a normal life. They want to enjoy themselves and not worry about what could happen in an hour from now.
In my own journey with pain I see the same thing. You feel that some external thing has taken away your freedom. You want to do all the things you used to do, you want to function in the world like a normal person. For me it got to a point that watching other people do common everyday tasks such as working on an iPad or riding a bike made me jealous and even angry. I wanted to do things the way a normal person would.
I’ve made great progress since a year ago when I was at that rock-bottom point in which normal seemed so far away.
What I learned in the process is living life with those thoughts is complete torture. Because you’re spending all of your time resisting your reality. All of this resisting leads to pent-up tension in your body, which does nothing good to help you heal.
If you are a person with IBS or in chronic pain, then you know that have days when I feel that you are back to normal and allow it to be there. If you’re someone who’s used to being active the most difficult thing to do is surrender to the present moment when you hate everything about it.
But when you do learn to surrender to it and bring her back to calm.
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While being coached on this very subject six months ago I could feel my body going back to calm. Then suddenly my mind immediately went back to my story “I want to be normal, I don’t even want to spend this time being here, or having to do this”. Then my coaching buddy said in the most loving voice: “your normal wasn’t working for you because if it was you wouldn’t be where you’re at right now”. Though my pain came from an injury, my “normal way” of handling it, wasn’t working.
Then I realized I had convinced myself that I had to get back to being busy, productive, and I’ve slowed down enough to really appreciate what I do have going for me in my life.
I also stopped giving a crap about every little thing. And that felt really good!
There is always a lesson in pain and create new directions in your life.