Creating Boundaries



I have been out of town for a few months and had the pleasure of finding two great hairstylists while I was away. Inspired by the great cuts I received, I decided to try out a new salon back home. I got a recommendation of a salon (not a stylist) from a friend and off I went.


Upon arriving at my appointment I was greeted by the stylist who said hello and put a cape over my shirt immediately. Before we even got to the sinks something felt off to me. I immediately felt uncomfortable. Instead of ignoring it I allowed myself to take in what I was feeling. Without more than a word or two she asked how I wanted my hair cut and washed my hair. I was thinking “wow this is the most unenthusiastic hair stylist I have ever met!”


It turned out that unenthusiastic was an understatement. She only talked to me once during the entire cut. If you’re a woman you know that hair stylists are usually chatter boxes who love getting to know you. It’s part of building a relationship with their clients. Perhaps this was a bad day for this stylist, but as a client it felt downright strange.


In the past, I would have probably kept talking; trying my best to entertain her in an effort to make myself feel better about the uncomfortable situation. I would also probably take it personally, wondering if there was something wrong with me. At some point later in the day my stomach would probably respond by hurting or acting up in various other ways. Why? Because I ignored the message my body was telling me about the situation.


But this time I did something drastically different…


I sat quietly and created a boundary of comfort around myself. I did this by imagining myself in a large round bubble protected from her energy and sitting firmly in my own space. In other words I didn’t take in anything that wasn’t mine, i.e. her emotions.


Why am I telling you this? Because you’re probably in tons of situations everyday where you are exposed to and picking up other people’s emotions. You may even be taking it personally, especially if you are a perfectionist, people pleaser, or just always trying to do the right thing.


The idea of creating a boundary is actually a great tool to have in your pocket, for any situation you may be in. The crazy boss, the annoying co-worker, or the people in the supermarket who are just plain out rude. Instead of wasting your time, energy, and emotions on externals that you will never be able to control, go within. Create and respect your space.


And let me know how it goes by sharing here…

4 Comments on Creating Boundaries

  1. Ann Murray says:

    wow! you are definitely in tune with how I feel. Thanks Laura…..I will remember your advise.

    Ann

    • admin says:

      Thanks Ann! I am glad to hear you’ve been enjoying my articles:)

      Laura

  2. Jeannie says:

    Hi Laura, I conduct self esteem workshops for children and teens. Recently I was debating whether or not keep my “Self Esteem Bubble” tool in the presentation for the older kids ages 16-18. Well, thanks to you I have my answer, yes. Thank you for your inspiration and helping me keep on track w/ my path.

    • Laura says:

      Hi Jeannie,

      I am so happy to hear that you are including a self esteem tool in your workshops. Learning how to create a boundary and be who you are in any circumstance improves your confidence and helps to decrease your stress level.
      Thank you for connecting and I wish you well on your path:)

      XO

      Laura

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